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The Long Road Home / Two Truths And A Lie

by Old Growth & Adam! France

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1.
Down in the valley of my soul Where the silent men walk and weep I may have finally found a purpose In this great solidarity In this great solidarity Now that I have found a road that I can take I can shed all my insecurities The ones that I keep buried deep down in my chest Now I can finally breathe Now I can finally breathe Anxiety is an avalanche You won't see it coming 'till you're dead And it'll make it seem so wrong It'll all seem wrong in your head It'll all seem wrong in your head It'll all seem wrong in your head 'Till you fall asleep, or you're dead There's a voice in my head asking me where I think I'm going And I tell him that I go where I want Cause the past may be littered by the bones that you break, But the path is just the steps that you take And the road may seem uncertain at first But the past is where you make your mistakes
2.
Maybe we're all just cogs in some grand machine And I know that you're worried that you're not where you're supposed to be Right here, right now, and I know how, you got here Through thirteen billion years of cause and effect The atoms in your body have not always been like that They were forged in the core of a star long ago And now they're asking me, "How am I supposed to know What to do?" and so I say to you, Live your life and only do the things that you want to I believe not in a higher power, but in cause and effect I believe in self-written destiny, but also that we're products of our environments Just ask any psychopath, how great their family was to them And then go ask all the fish in the sea, oh how they like the dams Maybe we're all just cogs interacting with gears And gears turning the hand on a clock And that clock may not have some grand purpose But it will keep on ticking Cause we're still moving, still interacting And nothing's gonna stop us, no, nothing's gonna stop me From loving every human being that I meet, or getting to the places that I want to be Like going into space, or maybe staying close to home And eradicating all the bigotry and hatred in the world Cause we're all fish in one big bowl, and that's something that everybody need to know
3.
Humans, when we write poetry and songs, try to relate ourselves to nature and all our moms, but we never once pause to see the inconvenient truth, that we are not 'like' nature, but part of a whole. Not similar, but one and the same. These processes are driving me insane. Tectonic movements, and tidal currents abound, chemical reactions, and seasonal migrations across these age old bridges of stone. Expeditions not into the 'heart of darkness', but into the hearts of men climbing like vines over rocks, far up to the lonely peaks where summit celebrates man, and man celebrates life The only goal I've ever achieved that makes me feel alive The grassy floors of the rainshadow are so loud at night those high alpine ridges are the walls of my house. And if these walls could talk, my house would be screaming, and I just want to know the meaning... of it all. I'll lock the doors, if you flush the keys and we can live together in harmony for the first time since people have been people I'll get the packs, if you get the car We can sit up under the billions of stars And wonder who we are I'll get the grub, if you grab the beers We can sit up in the clouds and talk about the things we fear Divorce, obesity, girls and poverty All functions of this broken society Except girls, because I'm just scarred of rejection... But I'm getting better But I'm getting better With every word that I sing, I am home on the range And I'll never leave my home again With every word that I sing, I go a little less insane In my brain, in my brain, in my brain With every word that I sing, I am home on the range And I'll never leave my home again And if these walls could talk, my house would be screaming And I just want to know the meaning Of it all, of it all With every word that I sing I am home on the range And I'll never be along again
4.
Say goodbye every time that you leave, Say I love you every time you say goodbye, Cause you might not get another chance, To see that person alive. To see that person alive. I was reading high in the mountains, When a giant bald eagle flew by, I looked him straight in the eye, and I saw They were made out of galaxies. They were made out of galaxies. I saw everyone that I'd ever known, Everyone that I'd ever cared about, Hanging onto a single mote of dust, Suspended in a sunbeam. Suspended in a sunbeam. Say goodbye every time that you leave, Say I love you every time you say goodbye, Cause you might not get another chance, To see that person alive. To see that person alive. They say that everyone dies twice, Once when our body meets our grave, And again when the last person that loves us, For the final time says our name. For the final time says our name. We only have what we remember, And sometimes, all I remember is me. Don't be like me, remember all your friends. They will be your legacy.
5.
Come find me hiding in our secret place. Remember that old parking lot where we used to drink our nights away? It’s been ages since I’ve seen your face. And I’ve been desperate for another chance to beg you to stay. Remember what you said? “We will meet again. Don’t give up on me.” Remember my reply? “Until the day I die, you’ll be in my head.” It’s been raining ever since you left. I’ve been down and I’ve been out and I’ve been longing for that beating in your chest. An eternity awaiting bottled messages. and holding your name on my tongue waiting for the day I see you next. But you’ve been locked up underneath. My misfortune and my grief come in waves of forgotten sounds. I’d pack up my whole life and leave if you could promise to be waiting there for me when I come back around. But now you’re underground.
6.
Close your eyes and tell me the last time you felt sorry for anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if you couldn’t answer me. I want you to know there’s hatred for you in every fiber of my being. I hope in the end I get to be the one to clip your dirty wings. I want you to hurt so bad that you finally know what it’s like to feel. I hope it stings. I think I’ve found you’re perfect matches. I’ll strike, sit back and laugh. I’ll feed the flames as the fire catches, and bask in the aftermath. I hope that your lungs fill with smoke. And you smolder out. Ignore the consequences for as long as you can bear. What will you do when you find there’s no one there? Can you feel it? Show me what’s pumping through your veins. I hope you feel it. When you hit the ground. When I clip your wings.
7.
I can’t enjoy anything at all. I guess I’m better off alone and unhappy. Again. But I guess a lot of that’s my fault. I’ve let all these fucking people ruin me for way too long. We don’t have a single thing in common. The way you live your life disgusts me. I hope I never see you again. Can’t you see I’ve been having a hard enough time with my own internal problems? I keep bearing all for you. I wish I could think of a single thing that makes me happy on a constant, daily basis, besides my own despondency. Wish I could turn around my life, but this hole I’ve dug is too deep. The sad fact is I can’t deny that I’ve pushed almost everything away. The only thing that I’ve got left to say is: I hope at the end of the day you wind up miserable just like me.

about

Recorded 12/26 & 12/30 in my garage.

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released December 31, 2013

Danny Dalton
Alex Griffin
Adam! France

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Adam! France Seattle, Washington

I don't really feel good about anything.

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